Stop Being so Polite — Ball-&-Chain of Manners
It’s funny, but at 64 — well, the body’s age, anyway — I’m finally finding myself. Yeah, strange — but then, maybe it gives hope to others who also feel something kinda missing, in spite of their years.
When we finally — at whatever age — give ourselves permission to devote our “time” to whatever lights our inner fires — it’s just awesome! What that is for me is writing. Though I’ve journaled since early teens, it hasn’t been such a focus, something I allowed to take up a huge part of my days/nights.
Not sure when this change happened, but it speaks of learning to Love myself — to give in to what makes me happy, throwing discipline to the wind. Not that I’m all that disciplined, anyway, but there was just something missing — seems that was giving myself permission to follow my bliss.
SUBTLE SELF-IMPOSED LIMITS
The limits we place on ourselves can be so very subtle, friends — have you noticed? When we’re in outward-focused mode, we don’t notice them at all — too busy with mind’s list of chores, the shoulds & should nots to which we’ve grown accustomed. Unless & until we put the self/Self first, we’ll stay that way — working to please everyone but self.
Writing is such a great adventure — not a discipline at all, at least for me. There are no rules — no certain number of words in a day/week/whatever. Of course, if writing is your job, then that’s tougher — but still do-able — as long as you can write from your joy, just letting the Inner Being flow onto the page, however that happens.
DEFINE “SUCCESS”
Of course, I’m not talking about worldly success, here, or I’d be tailoring it to appeal to the largest market — basically the opposite of what these journals do. This is strictly & only for me. Publishing them is also an aspect of that enjoyment, but it has nothing to do with seeking any sort of approval.
How much have we crafted our lives to suit others?
It’s a powerful question to look into, for there’s not one of us without some of that going on. It’s what we do when being polite — often hiding or stuffing the self in favor of our conversation partner. That behavior can be deadening to the soul.
SELFISHNESS??
This isn’t encouragement to be rude, of course — far from it — just to put the self first far more often — eventually, totally. Yeah, I know — sounds like “selfishness,” doesn’t it? Let’s have another look at that. What if our training/programming against being selfish is actually part of the old cabal game? Well, could it be? Of course! Worth a look, at least.
What would the cabal gain by that? For one thing, when you habitually minimize the self in favor of others, you never really get to know you. That’s pretty huge, right there. You’re taught to keep the self both small & compliant, aren’t you? This is the “polite” way to get along. Go this route for long enough, & in effect, you lose the self. Not good.
Makes us easier to control, too — well, doesn’t it? We don’t want to make waves, so we hush, stuffing whatever arises, within. We’re taught to conform. Not a good route for the awakening ones, clearly. How do you get to really know the self this way? And in the absence of that knowledge, you’re a klutz when it comes to waking-up from the Matrix daze. Keeps you locked within it.
Then, when you hear or begin to realize that you’re actually Source-in-form, the cognitive dissonance is extreme — so it just doesn’t penetrate. So far, sounds right up cabal alley, to me. Haven’t taken this particular trek, before — this is interesting. Where else would it lead?
SOURCE AS LOVE
We could say that the essence of Source is Love — a Love so divine it puts all human love(s) in the shade. Where’s the room for that in the life that’s constantly putting the self second, at work, at play, in parenting, relationships — everywhere? Where do we carve out real, quality time for ourselves? How do we do that in please-others-first mode? Not happening.
Until you are the most important one in your life, you’re kinda screwed. Once we begin observing mind at work, we can at least begin to see some of this — but not before. Then you begin to realize how you were actually the one screwing yourself, albeit unaware, but screwing yourself, all the same.
OMG, what a journey this awakening trek is — the list of surprises is never-ending. Teachers & parents didn’t mean any harm by what they taught us, actually having our best interests in mind, at heart — not realizing the self-screwing place from which they, too, were coming. Hey, it’s been a mass screw, all of humanity being caught in this net of others-first, pretty much.
Until we begin to come from a deep place of self/Self-respect, there’s no room for Love — literally. Respect is Love’s foundation. We’re taught to love God/Source, to love parents & siblings & our mates — but never a word about Love of self/Self. Bizarre — yet more of that insanity passing itself of as just normal — when it’s anything but.
SELF-IMPORTANCE?
Well, are you or are you not important — to you? Most would say, yes & no — kinda, sorta — that sort of thing. We’re not speaking of the outer, the 3D self, here — but Who you really are — let’s call it soul. Is your soul important?
Why would Source waste the real estate of your body — if you were not? Source may be impartial — as they say, shining the sun on both just & unjust alike — but we’re all massively important to Source. How do I know? Source is all about Love — being that — & You, dear one, are Source-in-form. You ARE that Love — whether it feels that way yet, or not.
Yet before we cross the 3D line over into That — into you, as the embodiment of divine Love — we’ve got to begin with some serious self-respect — or Self-respect. Absent that, there’s no foundation for Love — do you see? Try to imagine loving someone for whom you have no respect. Doesn’t work, does it? Like water & oil, they don’t mix.
LOVING MOM
All of this comes up as we make friends with MOM — Mind-Observer Mode. The thinker in us will never go there — it’s not about thought — goes much deeper. At a certain point we learn to distance the self/Self from mind — to just watch it, not getting drawn in, anymore.
Even five minutes a day given over to being thought’s witness is valuable. New perspectives form this way, & even just one new perspective can carry us a heck of a long way. There are all sorts of amazing, exciting, wonderful things to discover, yet they all require this foundation of self-respect — & of distancing ourselves from the self -as-thinker.
Thought won’t get us here. It may help us make the first few steps, sure — but this is a trek (eventually) into Heart — into soul, if you like that word better. Words don’t matter, here, so don’t let your thinker get stuck or stumble over them. “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” as they say. And yes, after a while with MOM, we discover that all thought is but small stuff — but not right away.
It takes some persistence to get where we’re going. We’re in process of completely shifting our relationship with ourself — as both self, but also as Self. At the start, knowing that you’re Self/Source-in-form is just words — we don’t immediately connect with it. That’s because we’re still in thinker mode, to whatever extent. Thinkers don’t connect up with Heart — water & oil, again.
SELF-RESPECT
Even though initially Self is just a word — we want to feel that — to deeply connect. The best place to start may be to nurture the habit of self-respect. Once we’re fully connected with Self, there’s no concern with Self-Respect — it’s ridiculous, requiring two — one respecting the other. There is no “other,” here — for as Love — well, it’s such an integral aspect of Love that it doesn’t arise. It’s not even possible to lack Self-Respect. It’s built-in.
So at the beginning let’s spot, then root-out all the ways we diss the self — & the Self. Let’s spot all of the occurrences of lack of self-respect. It’s time to put the self/Self FIRST. It will be awkward, initially— we’re not used to coming from this new direction — this new perspective. Our social skills will likely take a big hit, now & again.
This is not to say to lose all of your manners & become a boor, of course. Not at all! Yet we can find other ways to phrase things that embody this self-respect. Many times it will be simply that — more a change in attitude & phrasing than anything else. Yet, be prepared for the other times when it will completely change our responses — & our actions.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH SAYING “NO”
It’s time to get friendly with saying, “No.” It’s going to happen, friends — quite unavoidable, if we’re going to remain true to the self. When you put yourself/YourSelf first, you’ll be saying no frequently. It just depends on how complaint you are — or rather, how complaint you were.
That’s got to go, so get ready to not just say, “No” more often but also to learn to enjoy saying it. Hey, if you’re truly important to you — & you must be to go this route — then you’ve got to make friends with it — to get really comfortable with “No.”
You can find nice, gentle ways to get this message across — to help those in your circle begin to adapt to the “new you.” As you watch the thinker, you’ll note times of feeling shame — embarrassment — awkwardness. Just watch — that’s all — while being true to you.
IT’S MIND THAT’S UNCOMFORTABLE
As you look deeper, getting more comfy with MOM, you’ll begin to see that it is MIND who is uncomfortable — & that’s not You, the core essence of you. This is the most awkward stage, where you’re beginning to disidentify with mind in favor with your true identify, as Self/Source-in-form. Sometimes it may feel like your guts are being ripped out, so be prepared — by being aware.
Politeness — putting self always second, or lesser, somehow — is a real addiction. We’re groomed into this, never noticing it happen along the way. You will notice when you begin to break out of these chains. Some call them “manners” — an interesting word, don’t you think? The manner in which you — & society — expect you to “behave.” Another odd word.
MAKE TIME FOR THE JOURNAL
So many things you’ll notice along the way. It’s a really great idea to keep a journal, where you can jot down what you see & experience. Journaling always takes you deeper, if you respect yourself enough to stick with it. It morphs over time from just words to something massively deeper. It’s transmutative, transformative, & alchemical — not necessarily in that order. ;)
See you on the other side of the manners thing, where you’ll be so amazed at your self-transformation — into Self. That’s there for you — always has been — just not available to the thinker. As you let that one go, say hello to Who You truly are, dear ones. It’s time. You’re ready — or you wouldn’t have gotten this far reading this, my journal. ☼
~♥~
Abraham-Hicks Daily Quote — 7/26/2017
“The discipline that we would like you to exercise is to make a decision that nothing is more important than that you feel good, and that you are going to find thoughts that feel better. Your cork floating is the only thing that is worthy of discipline.”
Excerpted from Silver Spring, MD on 4/19/97
Our Love
Esther (Abraham and Jerry)
~♥~
10:22 pm, Saturday 2017/09/09, 2nd, Mayan day 11 Night / Akbal
