It feels like I can no longer speak. I wait & I watch, but nothing arises, no impulse to journal, something priceless & precious to me. It’s as if an emptiness has taken over, within.
I’ve observed this for months, patiently trusting, awaiting. This writing is an experiment to see what arises — if anything.
The time of quiet observation is/has been precious. What I once would have called “standing back” now appears more as dissolving; disappearing. There was more a sense of two, before — the one observing & what was being observed. There’s notably less of that, now — something I didn’t expect (nor even really notice until writing this).
We don’t ever know how something is going to change, how we will change; just that we will. It’s not advisable to let the mind chew over such things. It has no help to offer. It is not a significant part/aspect of awakening.
With so many beliefs in the way, many of them not just useless, but actually harmful, it’s a wonder anyone ever awakens. Can we give that a LOL? Our sense of humor definitely increases along the way. Perhaps the very best aspect of that is how it’s usually the self at which we are laughing. Seriously! :~D
It’s as we step back & observe, going more often mentally quiet, that the beliefs & other such nonsense fall away. We don’t spot the changes until perhaps weeks, months, even years later.
Now, wouldn’t it be nice of others, if our dear ones, would also notice such changes in us?
The company we keep is also changing, seemingly by itself. This can be uplifting, but it’s also often painful to let the dear ones go, go their own way. A part of us wishes we could explain to them, could help, even make them understand/innerstand, but that’s a no-go. At some point we just know & let go.
All is well. I can’t stress this enough. All is better, much better than just well. All is simply awesome! The funny part is that it’s awesome RIGHT NOW. Yeah, in the only time that ever is or was, the NowHere. Ask the guy in 1864 or 2800 BC, & they’ll tell you, too: it’s just Now, it’s just Here, NowHere. That’s the only time it is or it can EVER be.
The belief systems (BS) in our minds are in the way. The ego being what we take ourselves to be can never fix this, not in a gazillion years & with the best of intentions. Mind just isn’t the way, isn’t the key to any door that opens into awakening.
So don’t tell your mind or your ego, but you’re already there.
Our higher-dimensional selves travel time as easily as we travel space, so it’s accessible to us that way. Meanwhile, what about this very NowHere we’re experiencing? How much Love do we sense in it? How much caring for the self, Loving the self?
Are we fully present; Present? (1)
Do we Love & respect ourselves enough to go for what feels deeply good — not to the mind or the ego, but to the Self? Time to remember that every coin has 2 sides, & it’s not that one is better than the other — that Light is better than dark.
Ah, what do you observe pulling back from that last line? Does fear arise?
It’s time to merge the best innerstandings of the East with the West, in particular, here, the yin/yang. The beauty is not being only the light side, the beauty is in the perfect balance, the acceptance, the wholeness of that.
Dark is unable to win, being the absence of light, not evil. Light the smallest match & the darkness flees. It cannot do otherwise. It is not our enemy. Would the awesome beauty of the sunrise be so special without the darkness of night? How could it be?
The contrasts life provides add a precious flavor, a sweetness to our experience, even when seen via hindsight, that 20/20 phenomena. Youth is beautiful for so many reasons, from so many angles — but so is age & the wisdom of that. One is not better than the other; both are great in their different ways.
9:27 a.m., Saturday, 2020/12/26
(1) Just for fun & as a good example of Presence — of being fully there — I offer Dimash Kudaibergen, likely the best singer on the planet, perhaps the best of all time. What helps to make him, his singing, so awesome is how very Present he is in every song, his whole heart & soul flowing in & through it.
When we rest in Heart to listen, oh my — what an experience fills our NowHere! There are many thousands of vids of him performing, so do the search to pick your own choice. They’re, one & all, simply amazing, even when you don’t understand a word of the lyrics. Yeah, he’s that special.
Then, if you gain sufficient interest to pursue it, you’ll find him one of the most humble people you’ve ever encountered — humble & loving. It’s deLightFully disconcerting. 😉