Letting Go — of What?
Those on a spiritual path often hear that we must let go, but let go of what? What will this letting go bring? What is its benefit?
We are too full to hear, to sense any answers; this, to the extent we remain mind-centric. Letting go of our tight grasp on the mind is helpful, for no mind can take us where we’re going. Our body-mind is the more limited realm, useful & enjoyable though it often is.
Useful to whom, to what aspect of our being?
Early on in our trek, it’s the ego seeking enlightenment, but we don’t yet know that. What is useful to the ego/mind isn’t necessarily so useful to us, to Who we really are. Thus begins the letting go.
Could we be more, vastly more than just this, the 3D body-mind experience we call life? It seems oppositional that the way into that more-ness is by releasing, rather than by grasping, by taking more in. Thus are those turned away at the door who refuse to allow, to release until a ripeness, a necessary readiness arises.
It’s all very strange at first.
We make friends with the strangeness or at least learn to allow it, to not fear it, as we proceed. At some point, we recognize that the aspect of our being that objects to the strangeness is our mind, comforted only in knowing, rejecting the emptiness of letting go.
We begin to enter a new objectivity, an ability to step back from the mind’s judgment/assessment of everything & simply observe.
These are our first tentative steps into the emptiness. Those refusing to step aside from the mind know nothing of the emptiness beyond the words of others, words that don’t quite make sense to them.
Now Jiddu’s words begin to clarify a bit: “Observation without evaluation is the highest form of intelligence.” We still don’t “understand” — nor will we ever — but somehow they begin to make a deep, inner sense. We learn a new way to observe, one where the mind is much less involved, where it’s not in charge.
We may not have consciously released anything, may instead be grasping, seeking to gain something, some new understanding. Still, we couldn’t be entering any clarity, here, unless we’d at least partially let go of our dependence on, our addiction to the mind, to its mental perspectives on life.
We note that we’ve allowed the possibility that we don’t know everything, opening the door to this new strangeness. What we’re gaining is a bit of distance from our mind. It feels awkward but intriguing, encouraging us on.
We make excellent use of free will, choosing what feels right, what feels best to us. There’s no hurry, so it’s fine if we don’t rush into anything. Our internal readiness arises when it will; we’re not in charge of that, it’s just something we observe & experience.
Each step into the emptiness of mere observation feels a bit strange — strange to the mind, but not at all strange to our deeper Being, to Who we truly are — so there’s a new/oldness about this, strange yet not strange. Again, we just observe, letting it be whatever it is, feeling less need to control, to manipulate anything (including the self).
“Where is this taking us?” says the mind. We don’t know. We begin to make peace with this not knowing as we just watch. We’re letting go of the need to be in charge, in control, learning to go with the flow arising from deep within, we know not what or from whence. It just is & we witness the is-ness of that.
Slowly, surprisingly tensions begin to melt away.
We’re discovering what it’s like to not be the doer all the time. This is being, not doing — observing, not doing. Our mind gets frightened now & then, feeling its tight grasp on our life slip away. To the extent we’ve found our way into Heart, we’re okay with that, okay to just observe.
This is the “observation without evaluation” of which Krishnamurti spoke. It is not unintelligent, it goes beyond, yet is different from the mind’s understanding of intelligence. The mind is still in the picture, just playing more of a bit part rather than its customary leading role.
As we choose at some point to align with this new emptiness, we watch ourselves let go of certain aspects of our belief systems. We’re willing to table the motion on many things, discovering in ourselves a new impartiality, a willingness to see beyond our previous bounds.
Not everything that arises in our awareness will be perfect, will be the illumination we seek, for we’re not yet fully anchored in Heart, trusting its deeper Intelligence, its ability to lead. We bounce back & forth from Heart to the head & back, again & again.
We eventually find this helpful, as it contributes to our ability to dispassionately observe, to no longer have a horse in the race. We don’t even seem male or female at this point, just a neutral sort of seeing that observes everything. No matter our age, we experience things completely new to our awareness, to how we thought things either are or ought to be.
Our observation leads into a new emptiness that is somehow sensed as full. We get better at not trying to figure things out — at just quietly watching. Thus, do we find ourselves emptying out. We watch the ego fade.
Letting go of what? Of simply everything, yet it’s nothing like we thought it would be. Until we get that, we don’t go far.
Namaste
~♥~
Saturday, 2018/12/08 — Mayan day 11 Flint / Etznab
