Ezinne — I applaud your honest integrity, your sincere soul searching, your willingness to leave the beaten path that never really worked in the way it was promised. The whole Belief System thing is headed for the trash heap — it’s the mechanisms of control at work, no more.
You are the future, my friend. You’re in the dumps, now, but because you chose the route of honest inquiry, the integrity of speaking truth as you find it, you will find your way — it just won’t be in any way mind can comprehend.
It’s not that mind is the enemy, it’s that it’s been hacked in The Matrix in which most choose to abide, largely unaware. This mess all around us, while not created by us, was allowed to evolve — by each of us. The many who are waking-up to that now are finding their way out — not via the road of religion, but by what we currently call “spirituality.” There are no good words for this, or for anything; words are ever & only the map, never the territory of real Life.
FWIW, you may find some things of interest on my blog, where we come at things from often radically different angles, perspectives. I’ll share a link or two to get you started on new ways to perceive what’s going on — ways far more uplifting than what you seem to have encountered, thus far. It takes real courage, the guts to leave the pack, but you’ve displayed that, already, so bon voyage!
These are not offered to garner reads or followers, but in honor of your very important personal trek. Will include one more, which is my take on the solution for the current mess in which the world is embroiled.
To your enjoyment — in-joy-me-nt 😆
~♥~
