Chasing Happiness, 1 of 3 — so far ;)
We chase happiness because we believe we don’t have it. What if that’s a flawed premise?
If you’re game, make a short list of what you desire, of what you believe will lead you to happiness, before reading the rest.
. . .
As I browse the stories on Medium, though they have various categories (& that list deserves some improvement), the bulk of them are about one thing — chasing happiness of whatever sort. We seek to fix the self or to fix the world in some way. Many define it as success — whatever that means. I’m finding a lot of it somewhat shallow, a bit like click-bait. Do this, take these 5 steps, do these 3 things about whatever the topic, & you’re sure to do better in life.
Really? I tire of tips & tricks to snare happiness, especially when perhaps 90% of them target externals, rather than the internal life we’re all living. Happiness is an inside job, not likely to be discovered by following how-to advice. On what is anyone’s happiness founded? What forms the basis for that?
While we’ve all heard “You can’t give what you don’t have,” few hear it on a deep level.
Perhaps many are still convinced that their happiness relies on the right job, the right date or mate, the right social circle, or on possessions of whatever sort. If that were true, then our happiness is bound to be either short-lived or always somewhere off in the mythical future.
What about happiness right here, right now?
CHASING WHAT WE LACK
Those who are more widely traveled have encountered happy people in much less comfortable circumstances than their own. If our happiness relies on externals, well, we all know how those tend to come & go, right? What are we thinking to view happiness like this? What does success look like under such terms?
Older folks are also a great treasure trove of both wisdom & experience, only not in that order since wisdom is the fruit of their long years of experiences, both challenging & pleasurable. In our youth, we believe that having the right car, the right shoes, the right date, or the best job will bring us happiness. If we look at the wealthy living in the lap of luxury, do they radiate happiness? Not very often, right?
As we attain our desired goals, do they make us happy — or do they just make way for the next set of goals & desires? As our circumstances change what most of us discover is that we’ve exchanged one set of challenges (which many call problems) for another. The very wealthy spend huge swaths of time & effort managing & growing their money & properties, having to use hired help to manage it all. Wealth is no carefree picnic.
IS HAPPINESS AVAILABLE, NOW?
Happiness is widely available right now, & to all of us, no matter our circumstances. In order to experience it, we’ll have to set aside many beliefs around both what it is & how happiness is to be found, for we’re hugely misdirected if we seek it “out there” somewhere.
Lasting happiness is not an emotion. If it were, we’d be in a most unstable state, as our emotions are forever changing. Happiness has nothing to do with what we own, what car we drive, or with a fat bank account. These produce more of a sense of satisfaction than real, lasting happiness.
CAN I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?
What if happiness didn’t depend on anything at all outside of the self? Would you still be interested in pursuing it? Or would that be too scary? What if happiness is more a choice than something that must be earned or attained? What if we could simply choose to be happy?
Until we make peace with ourselves I see no long-term happiness for us.
We’ve all been schooled into a set of values that are decidedly skewed toward the externals of life, finding our most desirable possessions or relationships “out there,” not within the self. The biggest step toward real lasting happiness comes as we choose to make peace with who we are, warts, farts, & all. 😲
LET’S STOP RUNNING AWAY
In seeking happiness externally what we’re doing in most cases is running away from the self. Can you see this? We don’t feel content, so we’re searching the world for things, people, or situations we believe will make us feel better, yes? Let’s look at that.
We’ve been fed the lie that our happiness is found in our circumstances, our external status.
Many of our beliefs are actually toxic, ultimately more productive of stress & hassles than anything positive, much less deeply comforting. In how many ways are we taught to view ourselves as lacking, as somehow deficient? We’re taught that we’re not good enough, not handsome or pretty enough, not rich enough, not powerful enough, etc.
MEDIA & COMMERCIALIZATION
They can teach it in endless ways, friends, from the massive way we’re commercialized, every ad touting something we must buy to be better, to somehow improve our way into happiness. Those willing to take periodic media fasts, going without any electronic gadget or connection for 3 days or 3 weeks, or every night soon discover how polluted the whole media scene actually is. It is toxic! It’s also an addiction.
Social media trains us to almost never spend time with ourselves, just being instead of continually doing, chasing away perceived boredom. It’s easy enough to see how, rather than chasing all of those things, we’re actually running away from ourselves. We’re not comfortable with ourselves, not regarding ourselves worthy of being alone with just us, forever reaching for something (or someone) else.
Could it be that this is an atmosphere purposefully designed to prime us to purchase goods of whatever sort? If we’re perpetually discontent, then we’re ripe for whatever they’re selling. We’re kept discontent & unhappy. For instance, how would society be different if disaster & terrible problems didn’t comprise 90% or more of the MSM news? It takes some serious searching to find anything truly happy online or in the media.
It’s time to get acquainted with ourselves. We don’t really know ourselves that well. We’re too busy running away, seeking, always seeking. What if all we required was already present right within us? Unfortunately, in today’s society that’s a radical idea, one seldom offered anywhere. What if we’re being craftily led to look in the wrong places for what we seek?
What if you, just as you are, are really enough?
OUR CORE VALUES
Though we value kindness, compassion, honor, & integrity, we’re not taught to treat ourselves that way. While there’s no one more important in anyone’s life than the self, we don’t treat ourselves as if that is the case. We put others first, duty first, job first, family members first. We’re taught that to put us first is just selfish. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
Find me something more important than being at peace with myself.
OUR BELIEFS AT WORK
We have loads of beliefs that come up for review as we set-out to improve our relationship with ourself. We hear them play out in our heads in endless loops. When we choose to step back from the constant thought streams, seeking out the inner stillness, we can morph into the observer of thought, rather than the thinker.
It’s a hugely productive perspective to take.
In addition to our list of those things we desire in our quest for happiness, let’s write a list of what we truly value, both in self & in others. If you have someone you truly admire, what is it about them that makes you feel this way? What character traits do they have that make you feel good?
While we’re doing this self-review, this internal observing, let us search out those things that are satisfying to our inner being, more so than those we intellectually admire. Thought is fickle, & not the best place to search for satisfaction. Like emotions, thoughts are even more fleeting, so let’s reach for those deeper layers of satisfaction.
When you’re having a really good feeling about someone or something, have a look at what aspect of yourself that is satisfying. Seek out the deep stuff that touches your heart, or even your Heart, your deep Inner Being. That’s a true goldmine of priceless treasures just awaiting a visit from you. When you can’t find words for it, jot down something that will remind you of the feeling you get.
BEFRIENDING THE SELF
This is an easy enough way to begin to befriend yourself, to get to know you on a deeper, more intimate level. All that’s between any of us & happiness or contentment is found in our inner Garden of Beliefs — every bit of it. It’s our wrong-headedness that’s holding us away from what we’re seeking, as we search for it anywhere but within.
You can start with the belief that you somehow must perfect either yourself or your situation/circumstances to be happy. While that’s not true, no one can show it to you but yourself. True peace & contentment abides within each one of us. We’ve all had moments of such inner contact that had exactly nothing to do with anything external — it was just how we felt, & it really felt great.
You are good enough, just as you are! What will it take for you to accept that? What beliefs are in the way? When we truly enter Heart, we are all actually perfect, there, with nothing lacking. Can you begin to actually see yourself as Source-in-form? What’s in the way of that?
It’s our beliefs that block our sense of happiness, friends, & it takes strength to confront them, to question them on a regular basis. On some level of your being, you are amazingly happy right now. Just because you’ve only touched down there rarely or fleetingly doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Our happiness doesn’t leave us, we leave it.
Will you choose to man-up to that? We’re far more powerful than any of us, including me, has the least idea. We’ve bought into a line of pure BS all of our lives. It’s what we’ve been fed, & from that we formed the Belief Systems that we allow to rule our lives. Challenge them all, I say! Every one of them.
We no longer require beliefs when we find our way deep within. In the presence of our inner Knowing, beliefs just get in the way. They are useless. We, as humanity, are ever so much more than what we’ve been taught we are. After all, what can one expect from an evolutionary descendant of apes, right? It’s all just so much garbage, not made right or true just because so many hold such beliefs.
From my Heart to yours, with Love.
Namaste
~♥~
About 11:30 pm, Thursday 2017/11/16, 1st, Mayan day 1 Monkey / Chuen
Are Humans Built to be Happy? Melissa Chu on Medium.com
