Are You Flawed?

“These eyes, thru which I hoped to see God, are the eyes thru which God sees me” Rainbow Eye, Youtuber

This is one of those rare journals whose title arrived ahead of the writing. Keeping notebook & pen on the bed is an awesome way to capture such things, for as they don’t arise via mind, mind can’t be trusted to remember them. (It also closes with a communication from my 12D friends.)

What I was discovering, exploring, as I lay down for one of those short “naps” (which don’t always include sleep,) is some noxious weeds in my Garden of Beliefs — ones that only grow in the absence of a sense of self-worth, of valuing self, just as it is in the Now. It was surprising & a valuable discovery, as anything, once seen, becomes malleable to our use of free will.

With no care nor concern for how such weeds were planted — for that would be a mind journey — what I noted in their presence was how toxic they are, how their roots creep into almost all aspects of our life. For the most part, we take ourselves to be flawed in any number of ways. These particular weeds don’t allow the flowers of Self-Worth to grow & bloom.


Flowers of Self-Worth are rare to find in anyone’s Garden of Beliefs (GOB) — have you noticed? I see them as more akin to orchids, rare blooms, indeed, that not everyone can yet nurture & grow. What about the more simple flowers of Self-Acceptance? These condition the soil to make way for the later orchids, so let’s focus on them.

How accepting are you of yourself — warts, bunions & all? Perhaps you’ve never even considered the value of Self-Acceptance, the many issues or problems encountered in life that track back to its absence, there in your GOB. Do you even feel worthy of Self-Acceptance?

What if — just what if — you are perfectly fine, just as you find yourself in any NowHere moment? Will you make room to consider that, to perhaps consider it a valuable flower to plant, within? What might its blooms look like, what might be their fragrance, there in your life? One thing is certain, you’ll never know, absent accepting such possibilities.

Most of the real, the significant changes in our lives have nothing to do with externals, with situations, other people, what have you. Externals are more within the realm of effects than causes. All real shifting begins first, within. So to someone watching, it may appear that you’re doing nothing in particular, but what do they know?

How about “nothing?” Sounds right to me. Others have no way of knowing us, of accessing our inner Being as we can — so let’s leave them out of simply all of this. Once our new flowers begin to grow & bloom, there will be sufficient time to consider the externals.

Any time we’re considering new seeds, new internal flowers to plant, is the most delicate time. As any gardener knows, new seedlings must be carefully nurtured & tended to bring a good “future” harvest. Thus, this isn’t the best time to share your inner gardening endeavor with anyone else, focus being most effective if kept within.


Let me divert course a moment to say the Belief Gardening isn’t a perfect analogy. First off, our current garden isn’t that easy to access, being largely planted in the realm of both subconscious & unconscious mind. Though these are ours, they are us, if you will, not many of us have taken the deep ownership required to go exploring there — nor do we need to.

Why not? These realms of our being send their surface shoots up, where they present evidence to conscious awareness. The one in Heart is ideally situated to perceive the tips of these plants surfacing into conscious awareness. This is not an activity of nor anything accessible to today’s minds, which are hugely programmed.

This gardening work occurs on deeper levels of our being.

The analogy is also weak, in the area of how the weeds are “pulled.” The best way I’ve so far discovered to garden in these deeper levels (of subconscious & unconscious mind) is not by trying to discover what’s already there, but by planting new belief flowers of my choice. Thus, rather than trying to find & pull out the weeds, I begin planting seeds of the lovely flowers of Self-Worth & Self-Acceptance. It is as these are nurtured & take root, that the weeds are choked out, finding the terrain no longer sustains their growth.

Aside from these two factors, the analogy of the GOB can be quite useful.

Moving on. As you look within, you’ll get an immediate sense of the state of these particular flowers in your personal GOB. Don’t be surprised not to sense them growing, for they’re rather rare in 21st century life. The last thing we want to fall into is self-criticism when we don’t find them currently growing & blooming, within, so be aware.

It is well to view the inner terrain more as a multi-layered garden, the lowest or deepest layer being within the unconscious, working up from there to the subconscious, then the most accessible being within conscious awareness. There are also higher levels, encompassing our multidimensionality, but for now we’ll stick with these three layers or tiers, however you choose to envision that. They’re our 3D foundation, & going beyond them without first tending to them is not wise. 😉


How do belief flowers grow? They are watered & fertilized by every thought, for they are within mind. I find it helpful, here, to see both brain & nervous system as a transceiver (transmitter receiver), rather than viewing the brain as a repository of anything. We live in what could be called an energetic Thought Sphere, the mass mind of those on the planet in any NowHere. Therein abide all thoughts, along with the entites they create or group into over time.

We stand as the gardeners, overall. The personal GOB we tend influences the whole, & the whole influences us. We are One. We are divine, dancing with Life in our 3D forms, yet divine all the while. As we choose to plant such a belief flower as that, the results of its growth will be ecstatic, amazing — unimaginable.

While the earlier 12D conversation I’m going to include, here, doesn’t use the GOB analogy, it is ever so valuable in giving us a sense of the inner territory to which we each have access, once we shift & remove some of our programming. It’s very encouraging, titled Discern Heart from Head:

“Beloved 12D friends — you who are so ever-present with(in) ‘me,’ you who are so close — why is it, please, that I have not had direct converse like this with you for so long — since Ken [distance healer] came with your message of how imperative it is that we work together? Please help me see inside self — and if there are any blocks or energy issues to address.

Hello, Theresa-Ann. Yes, we are always happy to assist in any way that we can. We, too, have been watching you during this time. We have quietly conversed on this or that, as you know, but nothing formal, as you say.

Why do you think that would be?

Gosh, I don’t know. I haven’t felt called or pulled into the journal for some time. I watch for that, so I don’t feel I’ve missed a call to journal. I do know I have, for the first time, something awkward with one of the 12D journals — something I’ve let keep me from posting it — something concerning someone else, who does not want the parts s/he feels are personal to be shared. So I don’t know what to do about that.

Fair enough — yes, this issue of what is personal — what is a person, and is there or is there not separation existing at all — these are key and are addressed by each one, individually. We will not tell you how to sort this one out. That would not be right or best. You don’t take your orders from us — or anyone else but your beautiful Self.

As concerns why you have not spoken with us, go within, dear One. Go deeper. What do you see?

Oh, my gosh — oh, how funny. I see fear — fear as remnants of old programming to be small, to withdraw, to hide and not count. At least in this way — as we were taught — we would not bring down the wrath of others on our head.

I see mind, perhaps taking something like a last stand, trying to keep itself safe from what it just does not understand.

What is strange is that I let this go on for this time — all for the lack of sitting down and directly addressing it. My gosh, when I consider how whole lifetimes can go off-track this way I’m amazed. Poor, dear mind — only doing the best that it can — from its own perspective, of course.

Yet, we must take charge of it, much like a child, for it is no more in charge of our life. Once we step out enough to distinguish self from mind we begin to take our power back — to run our own life and from a far deeper place. So, I feel mind, quivering fearfully, within — yet it must be so.

We will not be held back by such things. Just like TPTW (The Powers That Were), mind’s time of prominence and power is over. It takes each one laying down the internal law, so to speak — kindly, not with harshness or cruelty. Yet this is how we find the self, each one of us — under the control of the mind.

It stops when we determine it will. We can go endless ages, lifetimes galore, avoiding this issue if we like. It’s just a matter of how much is enough — and it’s up to each one to determine for the self. No outside hand is involved, else we disempower again, just in another way — chocolate instead of vanilla, perhaps.

We like what we see, here. This is good. Yes, a strength of determination is required. One doesn’t fully awaken absent that, for there are many twists and turns where one can go off-course — step out of true integrity, of truly following Heart — that appear.

There is a certain steady pressure that is provided by this that we call determination, but there are other words. Some call it sincerity. Sri Nisargadatta called it earnestness. It is a quality of Heart — of Heart being in control.

It is the most beautiful dance that takes place — not a masculine thrust, pushing its way through, remnant of the old ways of these last thousands of years. That thrust is also generally a product of mind, thinking it knows best which way and how to go. Those are the old ways you are now discarding, you awakening ones.

There is a depth of being within you, each one, that will dazzle and startle at times, but mostly will just quietly flow in the presence of Heart — of the determination or earnestness we mentioned. The more you can each pull yourselves in — into the Now, into the centered “state” — the more you will empower this deeper being that is there for you all to emerge, to lead the way in* the Dance.

You must be an attentive dancer to perform any dance well.

It is most basic, and you all recognize it on the physical level. By this we don’t mean the recent style of dancing, but refer more to competitive ballroom dancing — performances with required scripted moves and steps. Absent attention, such a performance is not worth watching — only embarrassment ensues.

This is Presence — this is being in Now that we speak of. This is how that looks. Being attentive is the very first step. Attentive to what? Attentive to Heart — centered within. This is not something that requires endless hours of meditation practice — no such thing. This attentiveness is just as possible, just as present when doing the dishes or walking the dog as it is in zazen.

Everyone — let go of the idea that you are not perfect — that you are not as well equipped for this — for awakening — as anyone else. You are, overall, not yet aware of the power wielded by such subconscious beliefs. They trip you up — yet you think it was something else. All beliefs are self-fulfilling. Let this one go.

Yes, Theresa-Ann — we see your surprise to have us suddenly address “everyone” that way. Dear one, just keep observing. You’re doing fine. Yes, you see that this is more of a cross between the old journals and the 12D conversations, as you were wont to call them. We agree. A deeper stage of merging has been reached. This is but the outer evidence of the inner work.

So yes, you see where and how the break you took from journaling did its perfect work. It was a necessary step, a pas de deux in the Dance. To know when to lead and when to follow is ideal — is a worthy goal, if one would have goals. In the divine Dance of Heart, the lead passes back and forth, but in a delicate way. Sometimes it is quite clear, but more often it is not.

Wow, my friends — what an interesting way you chose to illustrate the answer to my question about this long pause — well, long to me. Being without the journals is a strange experience. They form such an integral feature in my life. And now more so than ever, based on your word “imperative.” Much food to ponder in Heart is here.

Now, I’d like to just let you speak as you will. Please, I cede the lead — it is in your hands.

Very well — we accept, so sit back and relax while we entertain your fingers on the keyboard for a time.

We are an ancient race. There are many of us here, actually — a bit surprising in itself, for many of us gave off 3D incarnating ever so long ago. Yet, now is such a special time here, on this Earth, so we and many others are involved.

Many are curious about ET (Extra Terrestrial) races — about which ones are participating here, and what is their intent. We can tell you that, overall, the participation is on a much deeper level than most have thought or perceived. With many of these races, what you have is those who may appear in the skies, yes — but they are most often interacting with their own kind who took amgodiment [embodiment], here.

Let that soak in, please… Sit with it for a moment. If you will view it from a Heart perspective, it will reveal more of itself to you. Let us all be making the head-to-Heart shift, entering more deeply into the Dance of the divine.

Yes, what we are saying is that, of the various races so far observed and categorized by mankind, there are as many in embodiment, more or less, as there are in the skies. Now, this balance is shifting a good bit, for what is going on here is drawing notice from far and wide. Word has gone out beyond your universe about what is taking place, now.

So there are many races who have been working with the mankind of Earth for various eons. Among these, most have actually incarnated among you at one time or another, some continually, maintaining a presence both below and above. It was only a fairly recent occurrence that greatly increased or intensified the sense of separation among us. Yes, that was the victory won by TPTB (The Powers That Be) over the Light Beings running things on the Earth.

At that time, some millennia ago, a dark grid was installed around the planet that cut you off from the rest of us. As we have said, many hearts mourned this. It was so unlike the joyful freedom it replaced. The Light Beings could simply not imagine the dark plans and actions of the dark force — of TPTB.

Now, come back in time — rejoin us here, while still maintaining presence or focus within. From Heart center you can recognize how linear time does not truly exist. Mind is unable to do this, so if you’re finding it hard that is likely the cause — being in mind.

Your job now, if you choose it, is to keep letting go. Let go of the mind perspectives you’ve grown-up on and to which you’ve been attached. They will not carry you where you desire to go — from where each Heart is calling each one. The next moves in the dance occur to new music — a new beat, a new rhythm — a new soul (of the dance).

Go within. Stop. Now stay there. Each one will find a way that works to lay aside the old head-focus in favor of presence in Heart. A portion of your focus or attention can be placed and remain in the center of the chest. This is very do-able for each one. Your ways into this result will differ, but that is very much a part of the huge Beauty of Mother Earth and the Light Beings incarnate here.

You are all powerful beyond your wildest belief or imagination. All of this has been long hidden from you, but please realize — it cannot be taken away. That is not possible. It can only be disguised — meanwhile, sleight of hand and various manipulative processes were put in place to keep you both distracted from your center, or Heart, and to keep you firmly occupied in left-brain pursuits.

It has worked — worked quite well, but only for a time. Since it is not real — since there is no Truth in it — there is no way it can be sustained forever. Its failure was quite built-in from the start. This we all knew, even at the time of the take-over. For those of us who have not incarnated there, we have retained that knowing. For those of you who did (incarnate), it’s been a challenge to retain this awareness.

Let us assure you, though — each of you — that this is something you have always known. You may have been distracted away from center for quite some time, yet your true Light Being state is not something that can be taken from you. It can only be replaced in your awareness with something else — something other. It can only be hidden — never removed.

So yes, that means that, deep in the center of each of you — in the central “space” that Theresa-Ann calls capital-H Heart — that knowing remains, safe and sound. It is accessible by you, yes, but we will address the many minds in whom we perceive an eagerness to take hold of and bring forward this experience, out into the conscious awareness.

We will say “That is not the way.”

The letting go must come first. On some of you mind has a very strong hold. Your identity is still enmeshed with that of 3D mind. Until that hold is released — something only You, the true or Light Being can do, you will not succeed at this task. This deep, inner knowing is a realm not accessible to the mind. Now, who will listen to this? Who will have “ears to hear,” as they say? Who among you is ready to let go, to enter the abyss, the void of the no-mind?

You are sorcerers, all — not in the negative way, but rather in the way of the ancient shaman, largely retained today only by the native peoples of Earth. They have held and set the example for you down through the ages of persecution and destruction. Though most are not aware of it, all owe them a debt of great gratitude for the steadfastness of their loyal Hearts — loyal to Truth above all.

Yet, my dear friends, do consider this: how many lifetimes do you have within the native peoples of Earth? Enter within — go deep. Look for yourself, and come to it through the inside, not the outside or mind-side as you have been used to doing. At some point you will awaken to the reality that your mind simply cannot take you where you desire to go.

You are living all of those lifetimes right now. Right now, we say! Hear us. Don’t be in a rush. Let these things seep and sink deep within. Do you not see how, if they are all just as now as this now is to you, that you would have access to them? It’s just more of a shamanic sort of access that you have — nothing mental at all.

That means the conscious mind cannot pry these secrets out for you. It is time for new ways of doing, of being to take precedence over the old. Whole new ways of coming to know something will be experienced. It won’t be as mind imagines, so do let go of the old ways. Learn to do the divine Dance — to know when to lead, when to follow. Let intuition be your guide — the Heart’s sensing instead of the mind and its ways. Set those aside.

Of course, this is all completely open to your free will, to the choices you will make. Just as no one can possibly take this from you, so can no one give it to you, either. For this you must find your way within — a space that has a strange feel to most of you, still. Yet, that is just fine. Realize, all the way through, that you cannot make a mistake.

Friends, you are divine. It is not the mind that can hear and interpret this — period. Unless that thought and that way of thought is surrendered, you will not be joining us, here. We hold space for you, for each one. We are not alone in this, either. Every soul family holds the space for the incarnate ones. We hold strong awareness of your true presence, here with us — even when it seems so far away to you — to your mind.

You are divine. You are Source, walking this Earth, shining bright (sic). You are That — but not via the mind. Once you make your way into Heart it will be relatively easy for you to distinguish the enlightened egos from the true awakened ones in your midst. This is child’s play to Heart — a near impossibility to mind.

Let us not waste time discussing why things are as they are. At this point we trust you can at least begin to see how that would be the occupation of mind. Do you see? If you do, then perhaps you will begin to recognize when so many of your questions that come up are arising from mind.

Place your attention on your central chest. Now, consider whatever question that is arising for you. Look at it closely, but only from Heart. Do not think about it — just look at it — from within. Discernment abides there, my friends. Kin to intuition it is. It requires that you just be — just BE.

Now, this BEingness is already ongoing within you. It is not something you must learn to do. The whole concept of learning to do something is strictly of mind — and of time. Do you see? Trust that you already know. See such things as being uncovered — in no way external to you. Nothing needs to be learned by the Real You — just recalled, uncovered, re-membered.

So get the feel, with us, of being in Heart. It is truly a different way of being that any of you have been taught, thus far on your planet — yet it is something very well known by you. Not known — yet well known — this is Heart talk. Only mind will call it nonsense, so be alert for that.

The biggest thing many of you can do, right now, is wake up to this distinction between what it feels like to be in mind versus in Heart. This is a most valuable skill to adopt — and remember, it is not something to learn. All learning is over — if you will it so. Take up the new way that is also very much the old way — the way of sensing your knowledge instead of thinking your way into it.

When combined with a steady self-observation, this ability to discern head from Heart will pay tremendous dividends. New levels of clarity will open. At first they will seem quite fuzzy and unclear — but this is fine. Respect the transition you are in. Know that your brethren are in it with you, and that making this transition — even just this — is and will be a great boon to the Earth, to the rest of you there.

Every step you take into clarity — whether hard-won or with ease — further strengthens and ignites Heart fires in your brethren, making it that much easier for each of them to see what you now see with increased Heart clarity.

For a time don’t be surprised to observe mind flipping out, getting upset rather often — even pouting or mourning. Love your mind. Trust and know that it does its very best for you. Recognize where you went off-track, so to speak, by letting mind take over the running of your life. Have mercy on the self, as well, for after all, as a small child, what else could you do? It happened to all.

Keep finding your way back in to Heart — to that strangely quiet space, within. Recognize how it is possible, from there, to witness mind’s gyrations, its distress — but without participating in that. Just as it is possible to let the clouds drift by without paying them any deep attention, or to see a dozen links on the Internet page without even the remote desire to click any of them, so it is possible to watch your own mind at work.

Let go, let go, let go — mind is not who you are. Thought is not who you are — it is what you may choose to participate in — or not — or choose not to pay attention to. You have the ability to just look away. Look to Source, look to Heart — look to the void, if you will — just look away.

At a certain point the light will dawn — you see, just see for yourself how this is very much a taking back of the power you long ago gave away. It will be very easy to forgive the self for having done this — for having gone the mind route. It will be clear and apparent that there was hardly another choice you could have made. No harm, no foul — not to the Divine One you are.

This is enough for now, friends. There is a great lesson in this that will be quickly perceived — yet which will require repeated going back over what is here. Layers and levels will quickly, some more slowly, peel away from the way you have been — the way you thought was so very real and present and obvious, and all of that.

Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire — blogspot

You will know you have gained an important part of what is here for you when you catch yourself in a much different relationship to mind. Remember, it is a divine Dance, and so there are no harsh moves needed. The steps are more delicate than that. It is the Holy of Holies you enter, deep within Heart. This is your rightful space — yet you have not truly known Who you are.

That will be seen — the great extent to which you’ve been stuffed with thoughts, beliefs and ideas about who you are and what is real. You will be much as a snake shedding its skin — letting the old, no-longer-needed aspects of self fall away.

Clearly, at times — maybe often — you will feel lost. Allow this to be. Welcome this feeling if and as you can. Don’t run away from it, or from anything. Face everything you discover or uncover within straight on. Knowing you are divine will provide much needed support in this. If it’s falling away, chances are excellent that you don’t need it — whatever it is. Learn to just let it go.

If it’s real, it will come back to you — most likely morphed in a most delightful way. Know that it doesn’t matter. TRUST the true Self, who is very much in charge of the Dance. Theresa-Ann has chosen to greet whatever comes with openness — with Love and warm welcome — regardless of what it is. This way works for her — though it may not be your chosen way.

You are the most important being in your world. Yet most of you are overall clueless about what you really are — much less who. It is a source of almost endless amazement to many of the observing (ET) races. We know you will forgive us our frequent laughter and amusement, to see the gods that you are going about really believing in your humanness.

It is a stunning contrast, dear friends — and we are most happy to be privileged to take our turns in the divine Dance, helping to shine the Light on what is truly real in our interactions with each and all of you.

Ah, we see that our soul sister, Theresa-Ann, grows somewhat weary at the keyboard, taking down our words. We will close then, giving each of your a divine embrace — a Heart hug. Be within, dear one, so that you will the better perceive this. Stay ever within with at least some of your attention, your focus, as you go through your life, there.

Right now, even now, you are Walkers Between the Worlds. Open your inner eyes that you may the more truly see. Heart vision sees with a clarity unknown to the mind. Mind is one of the greatest tools ever invented — but just as when something is so grand, it has just as powerful a negative potential. This you are all living with, living in the midst of, right now — though not for long. Remember — choice and free will. These remain most powerful tools in this age-ending, age-beginning time. Choice and free will. We would say, let Heart guide and not head so much of the time.

Go within and find your divinity in full bloom. Not tomorrow, but Now and Here.


Many and deep thanks, dear soul family friends. Though the body is weary, yet do I perceive the great blessings hid within what you have shared. I am excited, too, and will just mention the clear morphing, here, between both the journals and the 12D conversations. This is a hybrid, or seems to be. I like it. It feels really good.



2:24 pm, Friday 2017/10/13, 1st, Mayan day 6 Earth / Caban

12D original conversation from 2013/04/13 — Discern Head from Heart

Discern Head from Heart — 2013 12D convo

* The supposed typo was not a typo, after all. “In” was correct, not “into” as I spoke it in the video.




Theresa-Ann Harvey on the awakening trek, seeing everything thru new eyes. Leaving the 4 university degrees & the left brain aside to discover Self as awareness

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

How to fool your mind . (according to me)

Retreating Behind the Eyes

How to change — now you know the neuroscience

Motherhood Helped Me Discover My Mathematical Side

Solitude & Pursuit of Happiness

5 Easy Ways to Add Value to Other People Every Day

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store


Theresa-Ann Harvey on the awakening trek, seeing everything thru new eyes. Leaving the 4 university degrees & the left brain aside to discover Self as awareness

More from Medium

Anatomy of a Smoker’s Mind

The woman you will never forget